He has a house and a car! What else do you still want? (The Poisoned Rose)
Several philosophers and social theorists consider the family to be the nucleus of society, a factor of its stability, and that it directly affects the structural structure of any society, its psychological health, and the behavior of its members, especially in those societies that are intertwined and in their social network sometimes take precedence over the individual himself, such as our conservative society with a million memorizers of the Holy Quran..!
A family is started by a man and a woman with the idea of establishing an institution. Yes, marriage is a social and economic institution and a psychological balance; (there is no home for a man in his life except with a wife, and there is no home for a woman in her life except with a husband) as Professor Yasser Alhuzaimi says, because, may Allah protect you, it is no longer limited to you being responsible for the continuation of the human race only, as the idea was in the beginning, because today as human beings on this planet we have exceeded the eight billion mark, so let's agree first, or we don't agree if you like, that it is an institution.
As a joint institution, the basis of marriage is the clarity of the conditions of each party to this partnership while entering in the contract, where the man as well as the woman are both legitimately and legally entitled to submit his/her requests, requests and standards to the partner with whom the institution is supposed to be established.
One might say that all of the above is self-evident, but here I say that this is not the case, at least in our country and our region in general.
Yes, the man has the social ability to create a list of his criteria for his partner in the marriage institution, however, the woman in our society is the opposite of that, meaning that if she dares and creates for herself a list of criteria for her partner in the marriage institution, she is labeled as “demanding” and then all the voices in her family and work environment are mobilized to consolidate this label; her sanity and balance are questioned, and even a request may be submitted to the United Nations to try to convince her to present herself to a doctor. Alternatively, her mother may waste time and money in search of that (magic) that may be buried in any spot of this earth, full of blood and oil!!
This scene is evident when a girl turns twenty-five years old; then the entire society, from the Prime Minister to the car driver who passes next to her on the road, turns the sand clock that society considers to be the time for marriage. This scene reminds me of the mating time for penguins. However, The female penguin freely chooses her mating partner, without the awkwardly compound sentences (where is the ring?) (What is wrong with your daughter still not married?) (A spinster, definitely a difficult one) (She missed the train) (Who will settle for her?) (Had she been any good, she would have found a man) (Your daughter is repellent) The list goes on much longer than that.
This societal pressure that surrounds women from all sides is intertwined in a very surreal scene with the first male who decides to propose to the girl, and that sentence, superficial in its meaning and deep in its impact, comes down (He has a house and a car! What else do you still want?). The woman finds herself and her neural network facing a flood of psychological pressure which in turn brings into her this doubt filled with imposing questions that completely envelope the brain (Am I wrong? Should I not adhere to my standards? Do I not own a house or a car so that I can participate with someone in an instituting that might consume my my life just because he has (a house and a car?).
Women are divided here into two categories. The first group gets tired of the flood and surrenders, and says, “I am like everyone else.” The second group refuses, and society often punishes them for this rejection. They are labeled as we mentioned previously, and they become completely like a poisoned rose in the eyes of society, seen from afar but never picked.
Our society today is prepared for men to live in only, he is the one who chooses its shape, color and taste, and he sets the standards. Women may accept that, and enter into the marriage institution according to this vision, for when he succeeds in completing the list of his standards, and puts it in the streets, all girls stand in a long line that begins with the wedding hall and ends at the court house; it is a worthwhile adventure, because he really owns a house and a car!!
The writer of this article does not support the idea of taking sides with women only for the purpose of bias, he is not a fighter in the feminist courts, he is neither a womanizer, nor does he seek any material object from these words. He is simply the father of two roses, who decided when Allah gave them to him, that he would not accept and would not raise them to accept the idea of being a “poisoned rose.”